Cognitive Challenges

Alexithymia

Alexithymia is difficulty with identifying or describing emotions. It may feel like there's not enough vocabulary to accurately describe how you feel or that you don't know what the feeling is. You may therefore have difficulty expressing emotions in a socially appropriate way.

Dissociating

Meltdowns

An autistic meltdown is an uncontrollable outward explosion of emotion as a reaction to built-up stress. It may appear out of nowhere, but the present triggers are often just the tipping point — like an overflowing bucket.

Meltdowns are often mistaken for tantrums and misbehaviour. The difference is that a meltdown isn't seeking to gain anything — the autistic person is not doing it to get their own way. Meltdowns, at the moment, are the only way to release that built-up stress. They are not a choice.

Shutdowns

Shutdowns are another way autistics may cope with an overload of stress. Like meltdowns, shutdowns aren't always controllable. They may involve hiding, curling up, or not talking. Some autistic people may lie or sit on the floor, regardless of their surroundings.

Shutdowns may just need to happen. In most cases, being allowed time and space is the best way to recover. Sometimes others may be able to help by engaging in our interests or offering sensory tools to cope with the situation.

Executive Dysfunction

Executive dysfunction is wanting to carry out a task but just not being able to. It impacts our ability to plan, start and stay on task, stay organized, motivated, regulated, and adjust actions according to the situation.

Task Completion

Some tasks are easier to complete than others. You might finish an assignment to a high standard in a few hours, but it can take half a day to do the dishes. This is because interest and challenge drive completion — not just importance.

Interest-based Nervous System

Many neurodivergents have an interest-based nervous system, while neurotypicals tend to have an importance-based one. This means neurodivergents are motivated when they find something interesting — curiosity, challenge, a fascinating topic, or something within their core values.

When the interest wears off, so does the motivation. This can lead to misunderstanding between people who are motivated in different ways.

Cognitive Overload

The feeling of being overwhelmed by multiple stressors, which can lead to meltdowns or shutdowns. Autistics often have a higher stress baseline due to masking, difficulty with change, social differences, and hypersensitivity.

Stressors can come in faster than they can be processed: sensory input, uncertainty, lack of control, multiple expectations, loneliness, new things in the routine, and vague plans all add up.

Processing Conversation

Some autistics take longer to process and understand conversation. This could be due to slower processing speed, trying to interpret things correctly, or having reduced thought-space due to sensory overload.

Too Many Questions

Being asked too many questions can be overwhelming. Questions are still slowly being processed in the background — adding more can cause overload and complete shutdown. It helps to check if the person needs more time, using a simple yes/no question. If they need more time, be quiet — the more you talk, the more there is to process.

Rigid Thinking

Operating under the idea that there is only one correct solution, order, or way to do everything. Rigid thinkers aren't easily convinced and must reach their own conclusion. This is also why change and unmet expectations can cause anxiety.

Imagination

Some autistics have a limited imagination. Using imagination can be difficult due to a lack of context — it's hard to assume something when it may not be accurate, but imagination doesn't come with a "correct" answer.

• • Creating stories from images or picture books can feel anxiety-provoking
• • Pretend play or role-play using toys can be difficult
• • Reading fiction may be challenging — can't picture the characters or events
• • People-watching games (imagining others' lives) can feel impossible

Indecisiveness / Decision Paralysis

Autistics may respond with "I don't know" no matter how many times they're asked. There are several reasons:

• • Too many questions or options
• • Genuinely not knowing, or mind being blank
• • Trouble figuring out how they feel
• • Having gotten in trouble for the wrong answer before
• • Overthinking all factors involved
• • Unsure if answer is socially correct

Fairness

Some autistics have a strong desire for equality and fairness, which may carry over into seemingly unimportant situations. This can be a positive trait — some autistics may struggle to advocate for themselves but become strong advocates for others when they see injustice.

Need for Precise Instructions

Neurotypicals often communicate in as few words as possible, relying on a shared, unspoken language. When instructions are taken literally, it may be seen as the autistic person's fault for not understanding implied expectations.

Autistics need instructions given as literally as possible, without unspoken extras. In situations where things are implied, we need people to say precisely what they mean. Most autistics mean what they say in a literal sense.

Need for Rules

Many autistics prefer and seek out rules because we don't intuitively pick up on social cues. Rules help us make sense of our environment and stay out of trouble. They need to be logical, or they can be hard to follow.

Managing Multiple Expectations

Having multiple expectations from others can be overwhelming. If verbal, we may not remember all of them. If unspoken, the stress is self-explanatory. We may also not know how to prioritize them.

It helps if expectations are written out in order of importance. This makes them more transparent and prevents gaslighting — people returning later to claim expectations never existed.

Object Constancy

The ability to remember things that aren't presently visible. This can be summarized as "out of sight, out of mind" — more common with ADHD, but there's lots of overlap.

To manage this, neurodivergent people might keep belongings visible. This may seem messy to others but shouldn't be moved — we may have trouble remembering what we're looking for since we can't see it. This unfortunately sometimes carries over to text messages or even forgetting about people.

Verbal Memory

Some autistics have exceptional memory in some areas but struggle to recall verbal instructions, lists, or lessons. It's not that we aren't listening — our brains may struggle to store information given in a purely verbal format. Having information written down or displayed visually can be beneficial.

Story Memory

The ability to recall a story you've read or heard. Poor story memory can be misinterpreted as not listening. It isn't about reading comprehension — you just cannot recall what you've read if it's not directly in front of you.

Routine

Having a routine is essential for many autistics. It provides stability and familiarity, helps remember tasks like eating, and allows planning for regulation time. A routine is consistent and reliable when the world around us is not. Overall, having a routine reduces stress and increases capacity to handle other stressors.

Travelling

While neurotypicals might find travelling relaxing, it can be quite the opposite for autistic people. Travelling removes routine and familiar environments, often comes with unexpected changes, and involves spontaneity. Planning and preparing for everything can be difficult when you don't know what to expect.

General Strategies

• ✓ Make a plan for the day or week
• ✓ Create a checklist of tasks to complete
• ✓ Have step-by-step, visual instructions for regular tasks
• ✓ Download an app that gives task reminders (like Tiimo)
• ✓ Set routines around tasks (e.g., "after I get dressed, I eat breakfast")
• ✓ Task-batch similar activities together

For Cognitive Overload

List all the stressors and create a plan for dealing with as many as possible. This can include setting times for sensory regulation, making an action plan, or just getting explanations for things that weren't understood. Sometimes, a break, time alone, or time to recover is needed.

For Basic Needs (Self-Care)

Allow yourself to eat "grazing" foods — well-balanced, filling snacks that don't require much prep and can be eaten without stepping away from what you're doing (carrots & hummus, crackers & cheese & grapes).

A Sensory Diet

Using tools to prepare for, manage, or recover from over- or understimulating activities. Allow time for something soothing before or after an overstimulating activity.